have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
