Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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