It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Drake has all the answers
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
