I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
