i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
