Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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