Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
