he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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