Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
