does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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