It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
