and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
