Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
As shirtless as possible
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
