North Korea, Best Korea!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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