The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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