Do you still have your period?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
