so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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