is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
