somebody snuck up and got me drunk
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
