There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize