Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
They are going to name an STD after you.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
