with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
