I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
