the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
