I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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