I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
