you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
