Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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