I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
