So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
