And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
