we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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