yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
