he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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