YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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