You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
