Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
