i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
she peed on how many people?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize