Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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