Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
you had me at cake vodka
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
