The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
