"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
