I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
