Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
