Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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