I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i've created a new STD.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
