he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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