Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just cropdusted the office
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
