It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
