She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
