Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize