just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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