I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My vagina just recognized that song.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
