i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
