When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
