i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
This is my gift to your gina
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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