I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
