You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize