We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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