My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
