i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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