What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
