I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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