If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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