That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
