Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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